MY STRUGGLE WITH SEXUAL ADDICTIONS

Late last year/early this year, God continually impressed on me to raise a generation of sexually pure youths for Him.

You’ll agree with me that this is a herculean task in a normal generation, talk more of in our generation where sexual immorality and perversion seem to be the order of the day.

Almost everyday, I pray for the sexual purity of all members of SFF Community Africa – a community of Singles and young couples that I steward. I don’t and have never struggled with any sexual addiction, however, I’ve seen and heard of how it has ruined the lives of many – great and small alike.

You cannot live an SFF (Single, Fruitful, Fulfilled) life or enjoy the MFS (Married, Fruitful, Satisfied) life if you’re messing with any form of sexual immorality: pornography, masturbation, sexting, smooching with someone you’re not married to, homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, adultery, lust, etc.

If you’re still sexually pure, it is in your best interest to keep it so. Not just because you’re avoiding unwanted pregnancy and STDs. But also because there are spiritually transmitted demons you cannot see and their effects though subtle, are more deadly than AIDS.

If you’re experimenting with sex or any form of sexual immorality, to know what it feels like or to keep a relationship; I beseech you in the name of Christ to FLEE. What you’re doing is tantamount to waving your most valuable certificate over an open flame and expecting it not to catch fire or get scorched in the least.

STOP. PLAYING. WITH. FIRE!

If you’re addicted to or struggling with any form of sexual immorality, I want to assure you that you’re not alone and your case is not a hopeless one.

There’s deliverance and victory for you in Christ Jesus. I know you may say you’ve fasted, prayed, confessed and even attended deliverance sessions but it persists. That could be true. However, the solution is not in religious activities but in the TRUTH. Jesus said, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you FREE.” (John 8:32).

In February 2019, we invited Pastor Femi Bakare, an ex-sex addict, to the SFF Community to show us practical steps on how he overcame sexual addictions. And he did great justice to the subject. (BTW, you can join the SFF Community with this link: bit.ly/SFFcommunity)

I’ll share some excerpts from his class below. Before I do, I’ll like stress this to Singles: Marriage does not cure any form of sexual addiction. As a matter of fact, marriage will frustrate your sexual fantasies if you don’t deal with this anomaly before marriage.

PRACTICAL TIPS TO BREAKING FREE FROM SEXUAL ADDICTIONS

1. Expose your sin: You need to realize the devil’s power lies in your keeping this a secret because he thrives in secrecy. Pastor Simeon Afolabi said this and I love it: “The thing about sexual sin is this, don’t commit it. And if you do then expose it.”

You need to look for someone (a mature believer) to open up to.The purpose of this is not just so that God can forgive you but so you can be healed, prayed for, and also be encouraged by that fellow because two are better than one.

“Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16

I know the challenge will be “who can I really trust?” But if you are truly sincere about confessing to God, He will bring trusted people across your path.

For those who are married and struggling with extra-marital affairs, I trust you must have confessed to God several times. But you will need to take a step forward if you have not done so, and confess to your spouse. It is not only God you have sinned against; you have also sinned against your spouse because you have broken the covenant.

At times, the deliverance you need is just a confession and you will be free. This is very difficult for many, especially as they are not sure how their spouses will react. Butif you don’t confess to your spouse, (s)he may get to know one day and that will be more devastating. You cannot continue to hide it forever.

2. FLEE, don’t dance: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

To flee is to run quickly. Sexual sin is not something you play around with. You must learn how to run. You don’t stay there and be speaking in tongues, expecting a supernatural power to help you overcome. No! The only way of escape with regards to this sin is to run.

I saw something in Joseph while reading his story once again:

“So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her. But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house was inside, that she caught him by his garmentsaying, ‘Lie with me.’ But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside.” Genesis 39:7-12

I know there are people facing seduction today on regular basis as Joseph. Remember the grace of God is still available to make you overcome. Make sure you take precautions and be sincere with yourself.

Joseph knew that sleeping with his master’s wife was a sin against God; not only against his master. He called it ‘great wickedness’. You must see this sin as great wickedness because you are wrecking a life by indulging in such act. You are destroying your future.

“So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her.”

This phrase caught my attention for the first time while going through this. Joseph “did not heed her to lie with her”. This is very vital. While most try to avoid sex, they still leave themselves off-guard by STAYING CLOSE.

Joseph did not just avoid sleeping with his master’s wife, he also avoided being with her. Being with her may not be sin but he avoided that before the possibility of its leading to danger became too much to bear.

People have asked me several times whether it is wrong to kiss or caress each other while in a relationship. As much as this may not be written in the Bible, still it is one of the things that don’t seem morally right. They may not be evil, but they have appearances of evil. And the Bible says, “Abstain from all appearance of evil” (I Thessalonians 5:22).

Another thing I tell them is “Can you boldly tell someone or one of the brethren, that you kissed or caressed someone you are not married to?” As long as you are not proud to say it, then don’t do it.

Finally, Joseph fled even if it cost him his garment. This cannot be over-emphasized. When it comes to sexual sin, you FLEE, not walk. You must maintain a far distance and run when tempted.

Some of us have to run from some friends that we keep company with because their lifestyles do not provoke right living, whether or not they call themselves Christians. Evil communication always corrupts good manners. Some of us have to stop watching some type of movies and TV programs. Some of us have to stop reading some blogs, books, posts and articles. Some of us have to stop attending some churches and visiting some places. Whatever you know fuels this, you need to cut it off.

The grace of God is available to make you flee from sexual sin. Grace is the power to live the way God expects us to live. So flee and don’t dance around it.

I remember visiting a family where I met a young girl. You could see seduction written all over her. While talking with her in the company of other people, she said she couldn’t hear me clearly and that we should go to her room. I told her I couldn’t and she said boldly “Don’t worry I trust you”. I simply told her “I don’t trust myself” and that was the end.

Was I confessing weakness? Far from it, I was just confessing the Bible and that was the way of escape for me. “For we are the circumcision, who give worship to God and have glory in Jesus Christ, and have no faith in the flesh.” Philippians 3:3 (BBE)

I remember a friend of mine sharing his experience with me about a lady he met. He had been of help to her and she wanted to show kindness, so she invited him to where she was. She was willing to pay for his flight ticket, and they would meet in an hotel. My friend told me he sat down and asked himself questions that were vital. Later he
told the lady he could not come, and the lady said “Don’t be afraid. I will not hurt you.”

My friend said he told her “Even if you will not hurt me, I am going to hurt you.”

This may sound funny but that was his escape. Nobody can claim to be Superman when it comes to sexual sin. The moment you brag about yourself saying, “I cannot fall”, you are beginning to fall already.

Our confidence must be in God and not in our flesh.

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Pastor Femi Bakare shared a lot more practical tips and personal stories on how to overcome sexual addictions and I have compiled his teachings in a PDF file. You can download it for FREE with the link below.

You can also download and share with your family and friends who need this.

Your email address is not required hence no one will know you downloaded a copy. So just go ahead and download with the link below:

http://bit.ly/OvercomingSexualAddictions

Love and Wisdom,
ChinyereDistinguished Anoke