Good morning my ama-mazing blogFam!
How’re you doing darlings?
So sorry I disappeared on you for some time now; it’s all for a good cause. Been seriously working on my soon-to-be-released book, “SINGLE, FRUITFUL, FULFILLED – Living A Whole And Productive Life Before “I Do”. Remember when I told you about it in March? To the Glory of God and thanks to your prayers, it’s becoming a reality. Here’s what we got.
I got some more a more scintillating good news 😁 😁 – from Monday, 26th June, you’ll all be able to download the first two chapters of this book for FREE. That’s my way of saying “Thank you” for bearing with all my disappearances 😘 😘 😘 .
For your weekend delight, do enjoy this excerpt.
SFF CHALLENGE – PRESSURE
“So Distinguished when are you getting married?”
My response to that question depends on who is asking. It used to be a constant “soon”. But these days, I evaluate the questioner to determine if he/she deserves any response beyond a warm smile from me. That leaves most people taciturn while I move on unperturbed with my life. It’s one of the measures of guarding my heart from the subtle pressure for marriage, that that question and its related versions used to stir in my heart.
I barely dropped my convocation gown before my parents started asking me when ‘he’ is coming… You know all those marriage centred FAQs (frequently asked questions)? Uncles, aunties, friends, colleagues, siblings, Pastors, etc., didn’t help either. Everyone wanted to know when I’d invite them to come and eat wedding rice… And considering the fact that I already had the pre-set acceptable age range for marriage stamped firmly in my subconscious mind, each time that question or its relatives came, all my brain could interpret was – “Baibe, you must do something and do it quick. Your time for marriage is swiftly running out.” So many other versions of that response were also auto-created in my mind, e.g. “you know you need to be married first before you can do a lot of things, so that men will not be afraid to approach you for marriage…”
And that was how I unconsciously paused my life to desperately pursue marriage before a certain age. On the surface, it didn’t look that way. I was still the ever smiling Distinguished lady, but deep inside, I was on a society-imposed wrong mind-set and mission to get married before a certain age limit. This non-physical race against time was tending to madness but I knew it not. To those around me, I was still normal and going about my daily business and goals. I myself didn’t even fully grasp what was going on until God cured me of that madness. In my desperation, I contemplated accepting pre-marital pregnancy just to meet the marriage ‘deadline’.
You’re probably wondering “Haba! Did things get that bad? How old are you kwanu?”
Well, think about that and be led before you go asking another Single “so when are you getting married?”
Dear Parents, guardians, Spiritual heads, etc.
We understand your love, concern, and sometimes fear for us your Single adults to get married before a certain age. We understand and appreciate your continuous prayers to heaven to settle us with our own mates. And we understand your frustration, disappointment and sadness for every time your friends ask you “when is your son/daughter getting married”. Or you have to yet again, attend or even officiate another colleagues daughter’s wedding or son’s child naming ceremony, with no clue of when you will invite them to yours.
We understand all these and we are with you in the prayers because, we also want to be settled in our own homes with our own spouses. We too look forward to you and your friends celebrating us on our big day and having you come around for omugwo in our homes.
But you see, the constant questions of “when is he coming?” or “Is she the one?” and your relentless efforts to match make-us is not helping us. We are already pressured by our own thoughts and God! The social media is not helping at all! Every time we log on, it appears there is a conspiracy to rub it in our faces that we are the only Singles left in the universe. ‘All’ our mates are either flashing pre-wedding, wedding, wedding anniversary, baby-shower or child dedication pictures.
You frequently asking these questions, including threats and sometimes adding that our marriage life-span has elapsed or is about elapsing, only pushes us to consciously/unconsciously make some really stupid decisions.
You qualify to be addressed as a single because I believe you are a unique, whole and distinct individual who is capable of making the right decisions from a myriad of options and choices. Please do not let pressure, society, desperation, depression, family, greed, pride, friends or condition make the critical decision of who and when to marry, for you.
Regardless of who you choose to blame in the long run, you primarily bear the brunt of the consequences of whatever choice you make – good or bad. Singlehood is a phase to be embraced and enjoyed, not one to be run away from or lived in absentia. The quality of who you are as a Single, grossly imparts your choice of who to marry and can determine how the rest of your life plays out after marriage. SFF is a lifestyle, please be Single, Fruitful and Fulfilled.
Excerpts from my soon-to-be-released book, “Single, Fruitful, Fulfilled – Living A Whole And Productive Life Before “I Do””.
This book is for anyone who desires to live a fruitful and fulfilled life and as well, support others to do same, irrespective of their marital status.
Pre-order deals are currently on, E-Book and Hardcopy are available. You get a N500 discount on any copy you choose.
Pre-order details are as follows:
1. e-Book – N1000 (Full price after launch is N1,500)
2. Hardcopy – N1,500 (Full price after launch is N2,000)
You can pay with any of these links:
e-Book – http://bit.ly/SFFe-Book
Hardcopy – http://bit.ly/SFFHardcopy
NOTE: The N500 pre-order discount closes on the 30th of June. I trust you to take advantage of this window.
Just before I run along to attend to my engagements for the day, I have a special invite for all the ladies in the house – Single ad Married.
This evening, I’ll be guest-speaking in a whatsapp group – GRACEFUL WARRIORS, on the topic “The Irresistible Woman”
Interested? Please join us with this link – bit.ly/GracefullWarriors
Time is 7pm prompt.
It’s a long weekend, wishing y’all the best of it.