Good morning Lovelies, how’s your week been?
Thank God It’s Thursday, literally!
I’ve been so eager to share today’s episode of the SFF Series with y’all. Our star guest today is a beautiful lady I admire her love for Christ and passion to make a difference wherever she is. When I went through her responses to the #SFF questions, I was blown away by her passionate and deep answers… Lemme not spoil it for you.
Being Single Is A Time Of Preparation And A Time To Understand Ones Purpose In Life
SFF Question: Can we meet you please?
Wumi: My names are Omowumi Atinuke Akinmoladun. I have a first degree and an MBA in Marketing Management. I am a full time business woman, always on the lookout for new business opportunities. I am an authentic lover of Jesus Christ and a worker in my local church (I sing in the choir).
SFF Question: What does being single mean to you?
Wumi: First of all, I want to thank you Distinguished, for giving me this opportunity to share my experience. I remember telling myself that a lot of singles need to understand that being single is not a curse, it’s not a delay. It is a time for preparation. This preparation phase plays a huge role in determining how successful your marriage and the rest of your life will be.
So to answer your question, being single means a time for preparation, a time of self-discovery, a time to understand ones purpose in life, a time to build up Godly character, a time you truly understand who God is, a time to build up various skills and professional experience, a time to set certain foundations in terms of career, ministry etc.
I really believe a lot of single folks don’t truly gasp the benefits of being single. They mostly worry about not getting married. I used to think being single especially at marriageable age was a delay, but the Lord changed my mind-set and I am forever grateful!
SFF Question: Can a single be fruitful and fulfilled?
Wumi: Can I shout the answer? Oh YES to that question! YES YES YES YES please. And I have scriptural backing. The bible states in the book of Genesis chapter 1:27 and 28
“27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.” NLT
I love the above scripture, it says God created man and woman in is image, and gave them a commandment to be fruitful, multiply and have dominion. It did not say when you get married, may I also point out, that He also instructed man and woman to be fruitful, multiply and have dominion. He did not say men only. So please ladies don’t let anyone deceive you that you can only be useful when you are in your husband’s house. God gave the 3-fold ministry to both Male and Female. By the way, the first commandment is actually fruitfulness. Fruitfulness does not mean only bearing children its means being fruitful in all you do.
So YES, you can live a fulfilled life when you are single. Fulfilment should not only be based on external achievement. External achievements are things people can see around you like a new car or a new house. There are a lot of rich people who are not fulfilled because they can’t sleep at night. They are into drugs, drinking and other things just to fill that void for fulfilment.
The road to fulfilment is first by accepting Jesus, trust me I’m talking from personal experience. Growing up I had a pretty good life but I still went through a path of depression and low self-esteem, until I decided to take Jesus seriously. Then I made up my mind to be fulfilled and content, regardless of my external environment. Fulfilment is really about making up your mind regardless of what situation is saying I am content because I have the best gift Jesus Christ, and I can be who God wants me to be.
Apart from having Jesus, sitting down doing nothing won’t make you fulfilled, you also have to live a very proactive life: set unbelievable kingdom goals, career goals, fitness goals, character goals, etc. Self-development is very important during this preparation and waiting period. Don’t be idle, make sure your mind is productive, and make sure you are productive.
It might not look like it now, have faith enough to trust God that your tomorrow will be better than today.
SFF Question: At what point did it dawn on you that one can be fruitful and fulfilled even before getting married?
Wumi: In 2015… 2015 was a very hard time for me. I just came back from doing my second degree, I thought I would get a job because I had everything in terms of academic qualification and experience yet I couldn’t secure a job soon enough. For the very first time in my life I was without a job. I became very depressed and I started putting on a lot of weight… then the pressure to marry came along. I knew if I kept on the way I was going, I would cause myself a lot of harm. The first thing I did was to rededicate my life to Jesus. The Holy Spirit started performing a heart surgery in my life; it was a period of brokenness and tears. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that my thinking was really messed up especially about marriage. This period helped me to build inner strength so when external pressure comes it does not bother me.
SFF Question: How important is it to discover purpose and have a vision before getting married?
Wumi: Knowing your God given purpose and vision is very important before you get married because marriage is not just about having kids and a family. It is also about fulfilling God given purpose for your life and your Husband’s life. For example, great people of God like Pastor E.A Adeboye, Joyce Meyer are all able to do great exploits for God because they married people who understand their calling and support them.
I know it is not easy to have a full understanding about one’s purpose, but having an idea of where you are going is key, especially when considering your spouse. My pastor would always say marry someone who truly loves God, not just a church goer, marry someone that has a vision not just television. It is very key especially for ladies; there is a saying “that a woman does not have a religion until she marries” which I strongly disagree with.
A women needs to understand who she is and what she stands for before she takes those decisions because a woman would have to submit to her husband authority. So it is essential to know who you are and if you and your husband goals are in alignment.
SFF Question: Did you have any wedding plans for 2016? Or desire to get married before end of 2016?
Wumi: No I didn’t have any wedding plans, however I do keep an open mind, to whenever God says its time. When you realize that God timing is the best, you just become totally dependent on God.
SFF Question: How can one differentiate between the desire and the desperation to be married?
Wumi: Deep questions. The answer to question is in the book of Philippians 4:6
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” NLT
There is nothing wrong in having a desire to get married but being desperate is very dangerous, one of the ways to know if you are desperate is anxiety. Anxiety is one of those things that lead to desperation. Anxiety does not allow one to think straight and be patient. When you begin to worry about marriage, you need to ask God to help you. The verse above shows you how to ask God for something – with thanksgiving make your requests known; very key. I know it’s not easy but you would have to control your emotions, ask the Holy Spirit to help you and give you the grace to wait patiently.
SFF Question: What can a single do to become SFF?
Wumi: First thing is to totally trust in God. I know this sounds spiritual however it is a very practical advice. Why, because when you are single especially a lady in Nigeria, you need to learn how to trust in God because people will say things to you to throw you off balance, people will make you feel you are not complete until you get married .You need to understand that you are complete in Christ.
Surround yourself with positive people, especially true born again Christians, I said positive because there are some Christians who are negative too, so be careful who you talk to.
Mediate on God words and pray constantly: make sure you have a quiet time with God daily; this is where you draw your strength from.
Have fun ohh, go out with Godly and positive people, have a good time, learn to have a positive mind set, a positive attitude, live a life of thanksgiving.
Find something doing: have career goals, find a skill you love to do, work and improve yourself.
SFF Question: What are the challenges you have faced on the journey to be SFF?
Wumi: The greatest challenges are what people say and me! People tend to create a sense of urgency to get married and I am not talking about family. People can make really funny statements “like you must get married next year” which can put you under unnecessary pressure. This is why surrounding yourself with positive people is important!
Second challenge is myself. Myself because sometimes you can’t control you external environment but you can control your inner mind, you can chose what to mediate on and what to think of. So making up your mind to be calm regardless of what is being said is essential.
SFF Question: Advice to anyone who think it is impossible to be SFF?
Wumi: My advice is to desperately work out your relationship with God, this should be your number priority. Get an accountability partner for you to work in purity and make sure you remain positive. Finally having a sound mind, a mind free from fear, anxiety and envy is needed.
SFF Bonus Question: What part of your lifestyle do you think will likely change after marriage?
Wumi: The use of my time will change, I believe this is why the Holy Spirit is teaching me on how to manage my time, because when you get married, you need to create time for your kids and husband.
Boom! Thank you soooo much Wumi for this COMPLETE SFF Starter pack!!! Having difficulty picking a specific lesson of interest because all your responses struck a special chord in my heart. Your #SFF passion is so evident!!! I’ll just reiterate your advice to anyone who desires to be #SFF:
My advice is to desperately work out your relationship with God, this should be your number priority. Get an accountability partner for you to work in purity and make sure you remain positive. Finally having a sound mind, a mind free from fear, anxiety and envy is needed.
Thank you for taking out time to answer these #SFF FAQs, God bless you much for me hun 😘😘😘
Your turn sweeties, what lessons did you pick from Wumi’s interview? Please share in the comment box let’s learn together.
The SFF Series is wrapping up in 3, 2, 1… Still keep a date with us next Thursday. This series have exceptionally and exceedingly blessed my life. Please catch up on all previous episodes HERE.
And if you have any questions or contributions about this series or on how to be Single, Fruitful and Fulfilled, please don’t hesitate to share in the comment box or reach me personally at firstname.lastname@example.org
… Still wondering what the #SFF Series is about? We explained it all HERE.
PS: Love is sharing, please share… Xo😘😘😘