Good morning lovelies. What’s gwan?
So sorry I couldn’t post this week’s episode of the SFF yesterday as scheduled… Work deals et al.
A Thursday without the SFF Series and y’all was incomplete and I couldn’t wait for daybreak to put this up. So here we are! But just before we get into the meat of today’s episode of the SFF Series, I got some blog news to share…
… On second thoughts, I will share these heart-warming news with us all on Monday. Please make it a date with us.
Now, onto the meat of today’s interesting episode of the SFF Series, we got an amazing Diva in the house. Our star guest today is the gorgeous Tamie Abibo, ama-amazing Doctor and the beautiful hands behind Tamie’s Alcove blog. Forget her medical profession, Tamie is a beautiful writer… you need to visit her blog to have a taste of this beautiful spirit whose inspiring heartfelt writings can heal the sick!
Today, she takes some moments off the hospital ward to answer our #SFF frequently asked questions. Enjoy her simple and honest answers.
Being Single Is The Phase For Finding And Understanding Myself As Much As I Can – Tamie Abibo
SFF Question: Can we meet you please?
Tamie: Hey there, I’m Tamie. I’m a medical doctor, living and working in Port Harcourt. I love reading, music, surfing the internet, sleeping and all shades of ripe plantain.
SFF Question: What does being single mean to you?
Tamie: Should I firstly give a disclaimer that most of my responses aren’t going to be deep stuff? Lol.
Being single for me is the phase of finding Tamie. It is the phase of knowing and understanding all aspects of myself as much as I can and having as much fun as I can while at it… Before getting married.
SFF Question: Can a single be fruitful and fulfilled?
Tamie: Yup Yup.
SFF Question: At what point did it dawn on you that one can be fruitful and fulfilled even before getting married?
Tamie: I don’t think it ‘dawned on me’ per se because I’ve always known that. I see singlehood as a phase. And that’s it. A phase that would one day translate to the next. And I’ve always believed I should make the best of each phase I find myself.
SFF Question: How important is it to discover purpose and have a vision before getting married?
Tamie: Hmmm…. This is something that has been drummed far and wide and from different angles. For me, it’s important because finding a purpose/vision gives a person their own value. After marriage isn’t the time to know what to do with your life, it should be a continuum of a purpose you’re already fulfilling.
SFF Question: Did you have any wedding plans for 2016 or desire to get married before end of 2016?
Tamie: Interesting question. Lol. Like most young ladies, I’ve had the desire to get married which had always been very passive. But sometime in 2016, I had an active desire to get married, I didn’t have any wedding plans for 2016 though.
SFF Question: How can one differentiate between the desire and the desperation to be married?
Tamie: I could say desperation is when desire becomes all consuming. That point where all one can think, talk, feel, see, smell is marriage marriage marriage. That point where the person halts other aspects of his or her life and does all things doable to tick that marriage box. That point where they start feeling incomplete or inadequate with themselves because they aren’t married. At that point it’s beyond desire. It is desperation.
One dictionary definition puts desperation as a state of hopelessness leading to rashness. Or a strong feeling of sadness, fear and loss of hope…
SFF Question: What can a single do to become SFF?
Tamie: Talking to the one who made you (God) and getting the to-do of your life. Making a decision to love yourself, get to know yourself, allow yourself to discover new things about yourself, make mistakes and be corrected, create great friendships and relationships, explore new places.
SFF Question: What are the challenges you have faced on the journey to be SFF?
Tamie: I would say the not so subtle pressures from friends and family. Sometimes people who care try to put one under undue pressure… They say things like – Oh you should be at such and such level in your career by now, you should be married, you should have this and that investments, you should own this and that.. The challenges aren’t big but they exist. I try not to let them weigh or define me.
SFF Question: Advice to anyone who think it is impossible to be SFF?
Tamie: Nothing is impossible with God
SFF Bonus Question: What part of your lifestyle do you think will likely change after marriage?
Tamie: Errr, I dunno…. Maybe my social life.
Tada! This is what I call an apt SFF Doctor’s prescription! Thank you so much Tamie! I particularly love the way you explained what it means to be desperate for marriage:
I could say desperation is when desire becomes all consuming. That point where all one can think, talk, feel, see, smell is marriage marriage marriage. That point where the person halts other aspects of his or her life and does all things doable to tick the marriage box. That point where the person starts feeling incomplete or inadequate with him/herself because (s)he is not yet married. At that point it’s beyond desire. It is desperation.
This just drives home the difference between a natural desire and an obsessing desperation to be married. Thanks again honey for taking out time to answer these #SFF FAQs.
Your turn sweeties, what lessons did you pick from Tamie interview? Please share in the comment box let’s learn together.
Up next on the SFF Series is Kingsley Ezebuiro, Fashion Designer and Co-Founder of Light Bearers Ministry. Do keep a date with us next Thursday.
😘 😘 😘 😘 😘
This is for you for reading to the end.
Stay Fruitful and Fulfilled, irrespective of your marital status.
Don’t forget to keep a date with us on Monday for some ama-amzing heart-warming news.
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