It’s a beautiful Tuesday morning and the long-awaited 2017 Valentine Day. A lot of people look forward to this day for a lot of reasons, are you one of them? Does the date 14 February hold a specially special place in your heart? lol. For me, it is just another beautiful day that the Lord has made for us to rejoice and be glad in! But today, this particular 14 February, has a specially special place in my heart because I’ll be spending it with some very special persons in my life. Will reveal them to you by the end of today’s special episode of the #SFF Series…
In the spirit of the Valentine season, we put together a very sizzling episode of the #SFF Series, to answer some crucial questions on how to overcome vices that seek to hinder us from being #SFF. Our star guest today is a man I respect a lot. His enviable fruitfulness impacts and influences decisions across generations of men and women. He is a Family Life Coach, Addiction Recovery Therapist, Motivational Speaker, Coach of coaches and yes, he is single. (Single in this context means an unmarried young man/woman who is neither a baby-mama nor a baby-papa).
I present to you the #SFF Valentine Special Episode with Matthew Femi-Adedoyin.
The People In Your Life Can Help You Become Fruitful Or Otherwise – Matthew Femi-Adedoyin
SFF: Welcome to the SFF Series platform sire. Can we meet you please?
Matthew: This is me. LOL. My name is Matthew Femi-Adedoyin. I work as a Family Life Coach and Addiction Recovery Therapist with Abstinence Icon Resource Consult. I am from Nigeria but I am a global citizen. I love listening to people talk and I love my job passionately.
SFF: Pleased to meet you sir. What does being single mean to you?
Matthew: Being single means wholeness and total completeness.
SFF: Wholeness and total completeness, I love this! Do you think a single can be fruitful and fulfilled?
Matthew: 100% possible! Nothing stops a single from being fruitful and fulfilled, except the single him/herself.
SFF: So true. At what point did it dawn on you that one can be fruitful and fulfilled even before getting married? Or is it something you have always known?
Matthew: Well, maybe due to my early exposure to learning and people, I have always known that you can be single and have it all complete.
SFF: Hmmm, more like something you knew quite early in life. Praying a lot more teenagers and young adults realize this early enough so they can stop putting their life on hold before marriage.
Now to the next question, some singles actually realize that it is possible to be SFF, yet they find themselves doing/having the opposite kind of life. What could be the cause? What do you think are the key things aka lil’ vices that can prevent/hinder a Single from being fruitful and fulfilled?
Matthew: People, Places and Events are key things that can determine how far you will go in life. The people in your life matters to help you become fruitful in life and they can also destroy you. The places you go to goes a long way to determine what and who you will become. The quality of events you attend too matters.
Also, we are the sum total of our upbringing, environment and significant emotional experiences. These three things can be empowering or disempowering. Until you deal with the disempowering part, you may not be all you want to be.
SFF: So true! I also found out that across generations, one of the major vices that distract and prevent Singles from being SFF are sex and drugs. What suggestion/solution do you have for anyone struggling with these addictions?
Matthew: Addiction is one serious issue among humans irrespective of age or gender. Anyone addicted to sex or drugs seriously and urgently needs help. So, they should contact a Therapist, Psychologist, and Neuroscientist as soon as possible to get help.
SFF: So addicts should seek immediate help… Glad your specialty as an Addiction Recovery Therapist comes in very helpful for such ones.
That said, what should be the place of love and romance in the life of a Single who desires to be fruitful and fulfilled?
Matthew: Love is one of the most misconstrued words in the dictionary. Singles must know that they cannot love another person without first loving themselves. And love requires lots of commitment and this commitment must come through conscious decision. Love and romance should be something everyone must be willing to give and receive.
SFF: Can you please throw more light on this? Any suggestions on how to balance relationship with the opposite gender without compromising our fruitfulness?
Matthew: I will advise that self-discovery is key. Self-discovery will help you develop the values and beliefs that will guide your life and this will help you determine the kind of friends you will keep. Having friends that will compromise your fruitfulness is probably because you are still struggling with discovering yourself and purpose.
SFF: So true! Thank you so much for clearing that up. Had a question on how important it is to discover purpose and vision before marriage but I think this answers that too. So I’ll skip to the next.
Did you have any wedding plans for 2016? Or desire to get married before end of 2016?
Matthew: Well, man proposes, God disposes. I’ve been planning to marry since I was 25 but it hasn’t happened yet… So many factors… But money is not one of them.
SFF: Hahahahah, I can so relate! I’ve been planning to marry since I was 22 but it hasn’t happened yet, lol.
This leads us to the next question, how can one differentiate between the desire and the desperation to be married?
Matthew: Desire to marry, no matter how long, won’t settle for less or compromise his/her value. Desperation to marry will marry anyone just for the sake of getting married
SFF: True. What are the challenges you have faced on the journey to be SFF?
Matthew: Sometimes, I feel insane and lonely. Sometimes you will be misunderstood by many but they are not challenges per say, they are just stones you need to step on, on your way to being fruitful and fulfilled.
SFF: Nice. Love the perspective of it not being a challenge but a stepping stone. What advice do you have for anyone who thinks it is impossible to be SFF?
Matthew: Impossible is nothing. Who negative thoughts don epp na? Lol
SFF: Hahaha, abi ooo.
Finally, here’s our SFF Bonus Question – What part of your lifestyle do you think will likely change after marriage?
Matthew: Nothing really. Everything I do now, I carry my fiancée along. So, nothing would really change. Well, maybe location will.
SFF: Lol, okay. You don’t think your diet will change too? That’s what most single guys complain about…
Matthew: Nah, I’m not a foodie.
SFF: Okay. Thank you so much for your time Matthew. It’s such a pleasure and delight having you on the #SFF Series platform!!!
Matthew: Thanks for your time too.
Waow! That was some really eye-opening and interesting interview, thank you so much sire Mathew for taking out time to answer these FAQs.
Particularly love this – Self-discovery will help you develop the values and beliefs that will guide your life and this will help you determine the kind of friends you will keep. Having friends that will compromise your fruitfulness is probably because you are still struggling with discovering yourself and purpose.
You cannot be SFF without first discovering your purpose! (Nearly all our Star Guests have said this in one way or another). Bro, sis, have you discovered your purpose yet? #FoodforThought.
Got any questions on the #SFF Series or on how to be/stay Fruitful and Fulfilled as a Single? Don’t hesitate to share your comments and questions in the comments box.
Also, please don’t hesitate to refer any addiction case(s) you may know to him.
PS: I promised to reveal who I’m spending today with that makes it so special… Today is specially special because I got to spend it with you, yes YOU on the blog! Today’s my first time blogging on a Valentine day and I’m really thrilled you penned me in in your schedule for the day. Thank you darlings😘😘😘😘😘
Make today count for you and those around you, not just because it’s Valentine Day. Make it count because it is another beautiful opportunity to smile and be the reason someone else smiles too. I will end today’s post with this advice from our guest:
“Call that friend NOW
Let her know how much you love her NOW
You love him? Say it to him NOW
Send text to that friend you’ve not seen or spoken to in months
You may not be opportuned to do it tomorrow”
He/she may not be opportuned to receive the call or read the text tomorrow”
– Matthew Femi-Adedoyin
I love you all specially😘