Happy Thursday Darlings! How’s your week been?
It’s another Thursday and I’m super-duper excited because today is another special, inspiring and enlightening episode of the #SFF Series. Trust me, I can’t help but be this gleeful! (Who’s with me on this #SFF-induced elated feelings? Hehehe)
Our star guest today is the brilliant Raymond Emamezi Okoro, the brain and muscles behind all Rayem Sketch Designs. Raymond is one of the most skilled and creative Graphic Designers I’ve ever seen – offline and online; he is excellence driven and very passionate about his growing intimacy with God.
Today, he shares with us his thoughts on how possible it is for a Single to be Fruitful and Fulfilled. (Single in this context means an unmarried young man/woman who is neither a baby-mama nor a baby-papa).
Being Single Is A Time To Follow God Before You Go Galloping Into Some Stranger’s Arms – Raymond Emamezi Okoro
SFF Question: Can we meet you please?
Raymond: My name is Raymond Emamezi Okoro. First child and first son of 5 children in a family of seven. I am Isoko from Delta state and I am currently working as a graphic and Ui/UX designer at an I.T firm in Lagos State. I got born again early last year and the love of God has been burning in my heart since then. I see life through the word of God now and life hasn’t been the same. It has been full of color and well…life. Lol.
SFF Question: What does being single mean to you?
Raymond: Being single is a status of not being married, not a status of not having a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Being single is a time for you to follow God and let him teach you who you are first, before you go galloping into some stranger’s arms.
SFF Question: Can a single be fruitful and fulfilled?
Raymond: Yes, a single person can be fruitful and fulfilled. Fruitfulness at the beginning of creation when God gave the command “be fruitful and multiply” involved the union of two people. That is one part. And we will always have the yearning for our better halves to fulfill and obey that command by God in terms of biological procreation.
But there is the fruitfulness as taught to us by Christ – the fruits of the spirit we bear by abiding in Christ who is the vine. If you are single and living in Christ, walking by the Spirit, loving God and keeping his commandments, then yes you are fruitful. Spiritual fulfillment is a byproduct of fruitfulness in Christ, it has nothing to do with ephemeral material possessions
Fulfillment, true fulfillment comes from living and walking towards and for the glory of God. It is discovering who you truly are, your identity as a child and true image of God. And a product of God’s love. There is a yearning for this true fulfillment by the Spirit of God in every man and woman, but they would never understand this unless they walk and are aided by the Spirit.
SFF Question: At what point did it dawn on you that one can be fruitful and fulfilled even before getting married?
Raymond: It dawned on me when I became born again and began walking in Christ. He began to show me that my glory and purpose is to first walk in Him and live to His glory and everything else will align to that. When I look at it, I realize this is why Adam was working in the garden and doing God’s work, being God’s image before the woman came to add to and help him on that purpose.
SFF Question: How important is it to discover purpose and have a vision before getting married?
Raymond: 100 Percent important. Purpose and vision are the compass that guide everything you do. Now look at a compass very well. It doesn’t really point to where you are going to, it just points north so you can check if you are on the right path or journey and keep yourself on the right path. Without vision and purpose, you can’t even tell if you are making the right choices or choosing the right partner. So, it is important to have purpose and vision in Christ first. And align everything else to that.
SFF Question: Did you have any wedding plans for 2016 or desire to get married before end of 2016?
Raymond: Well I did but I later realized I was having fantasies as I was still being pruned and I was not ready yet. I would have married wrongly. I am not even sure God would have let me get married then. I pray some really dangerous prayers for my life and I know they are answered. As for marriage, like everything else in my life right now, I walk in God’s will.
SFF Question: How can one differentiate between the desire and the desperation to be married?
Raymond: Desire is natural, completely natural. But desperation is wanting to get married by all means. When marriage clouds your thinking and everything you think about is marriage, all you do and all you want is controlled by that desire and most crucially, it becomes the “god” in your life, then you can say you’re desperate. You’re desperate when the desire to get married overshadows your purpose.
SFF Question: What can a single do to become SFF?
Raymond: Follow God, love Christ, and let him teach you who you are first, before you go galloping into some stranger’s arms.
SFF Question: What are the challenges you have faced on the journey to be SFF?
Raymond: I wouldn’t exactly call them challenges, I would call them tests because I think of this single life as a classroom where God is my teacher and each time, my readiness to move to the next mental and spiritual level is tested. I have faced issues with almost running back to an ex. I have faced friends who say that you do not need God to choose a spouse, friends who tell you spirituality is not needed at all in making a marital choice. And many other things. But I know we are called to be different and each time I am faced with a challenge, I keep that in front of me and keep praying. The word of God I know always saves me. Always helps me discern. God helps me. All the time.
SFF Question: Advice to anyone who thinks it is impossible to be SFF?
Raymond: Like I said before, if you want to be single and fulfilled, you must keep God at the center of your life and in the middle of your heart because everything about your life will flow from there. You begin to see yourself through God’s eyes and certain things begin to change. The desire to be better and do better comes. The desire to do things of value comes. The desire to be someone of value comes. Someone who will leave a mark and a legacy no matter where they are and whoever they meet. Visions and purpose come to you. And there is no greater force in the universe than divine direction, divine leading and divine work. This helps you to do what you are supposed to do per time. That knowing comes with the only true feeling of fulfillment this world can offer. God gives you that.
SFF Bonus Question: What part of your lifestyle do you think will likely change after marriage?
Raymond: I’ll be married, lol. Perhaps I’d go home earlier. Eat less junk and wash more plates, lol. Above all though, I believe I’ll do more glorious things in Christ Jesus with the new spiritual and mental maturity by virtue of fulfilling one step in purpose. I cannot wait to get there. But while I wait, I cannot wait to get even further in my relationship with Jesus.
Thank you so much Raymond, this is so lit – your love affair with Christ is so palpable! I particularly love these two profound statements you made:
- Being single is a time for you to follow God and let him teach you who you are first, before you go galloping into some stranger’s arms.
- If you want to be single and fulfilled, you must keep God at the center of your life and in the middle of your heart because everything about your life will flow from there.
They aptly sum up the secret to being Single, Fruitful and Fulfilled! Thank you again for taking out time to answer these #SFF FAQs.
Your turn sweeties, what lessons did you pick from Raymond’s interview? Please share in the comment box let’s learn together.
Like I mentioned last week, we’re going to have a scintillating special #SFF Episode to commemorate St. Valentine’s Day next Tuesday. And we’ll be discussing the lil’ foxes aka vices that can hinder us from being SFF and how to overcome them.
Sweetie, don’t wait to be told about it! Our Star guest for this special episode is eagerly waiting to share these secrets with us all. So please subscribe to the blog, if you haven’t done so yet. That way you’ll be first to get full scoop of the gist as soon as it drops.
Here are the details again:
Date: Tuesday, 14 February 2017
Guest: Matthew Femi’Adedoyin (Family Life Coach, Sex Recovery Therapist and Child Psychologist)
Venue: The Blog – http://www.distinguishedlives.wordpress.com
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