Good morning Lovelies!
Thanks to every one that sent in prayers and good wishes for the blog’s anniversary yesterday. Love y’all, plenty😘😘😘😘😘
For today’s Episode of the #SFF Series, we have the delectable Itunu Taiwo a.k.a Glow of myglowingscenes.com as our Star Guest. She is the author of My Love Diaries (that I’m always gushing about) and several other love stories in the league of that of Francine Rivers (not exaggerating o). If you’ve ‘met’ Itunu via any platform, you will know she is very passionate about love and relationships.
Today on the #SFF Series, she shares with us her thoughts on how possible it is for a Single to be Fruitful and Fulfilled (single in this context means an unmarried young man/woman who is neither a baby mama or papa).
For Me, Being Single Means Living Life To The Fullest And Being Able To Serve God Without So Much Distraction. – Itunu Taiwo
SFF Question: Can we meet you please?
Itunu: Yea. I’m Itunu and I write at myglowingscenes.com. I’m a modern day woman learning to clothe herself with Jesus and helping people to see God’s love and light in every situation. I love to read, write and sing.
SFF Question: What does being single mean to you?
Itunu: To me, being single means living life to the fullest and being able to serve God without so much distraction. It’s a time to seek God’s pleasure above mine and bask in His love which completes and satisfies me. I also believe it is a time to enjoy my independence to the fullest and figure out what ‘adulting’ is about. I still find it hard to believe I’m growing older each year though.
SFF Question: Can a single be fruitful and fulfilled?
Itunu: Very well.
SFF Question: At what point did it dawn on you that one can be fruitful and fulfilled even before getting married?
Itunu: It hasn’t been long I realised this. At some point, there was this scary thought at the back of my mind that was like, ‘OMG!’ What if this is it? What if I never get married? What if God wants me to just focus on Him?
I didn’t believe I could get to this stage, especially with everyone around me getting married and having kids. My parents hardly talk about it so that’s a relief. But I believe 2016 was the year that God made my dreams of knowing Him more come true and it’s not the end. The fact that I know Him and I can’t stop knowing Him gives me ultimate delight. Sometimes I’m so obsessed I can’t even imagine life without Him. It got to a stage I was like Father, the fact that I know you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even if I don’t have what I wanted, or what the world expects me to have at this stage, even if I have nothing, the fact that I have you has made life perfect and beautiful for me. I really don’t know how I got to this stage but I’m glad you saw my heart and took me beyond my wildest dreams.
SFF Question: How important is it to discover purpose and have a vision before getting married?
Itunu: For me, purpose is pleasing God. Vision is seeing how you can please Him. And that comes while you chase God. It’s in this chasing God that whoever is going to become a partner will find you and join the chase. That’s what a godly relationship is about. It’s never really about us, but about God. It’s when couples don’t realise this that all sorts of things not birthed from God’s love begin to find way into the marriage. The marriage of believers is meant to reflect God’s love and kingdom on earth. We are the ones to tell the world, ‘Hello! This is how it’s done’ and not the other way round. Singles and married people in Christ should be able to reflect Christ’s love irrespective of their status. The world should see what they’re missing and run to Jesus.
SFF Question: Did you have any wedding plans for 2016? Or desire to get married before end of 2016?
Itunu: Am I weird because I stopped having those kind of thoughts for some time now. There was a time ago I tried it but it just felt really weird for me, almost like I was trying to run along with the crowd with the whole ‘before the end of this year etc.’ and so I dumped it and chased God. He was the one who sensed Adam needed a mate not the other way around. He knows what I need even before I ask. Sometimes I’m about to pray and I just sense Him leading me to pray for more of Him instead. It takes grace and I’m not going to claim to be a superwoman, there are days I’ve felt overwhelmed and cried but the more you open your heart to God while shutting down what everyone else is saying, you’ll come to see that it’s not so bad after all. The world, our flesh and the devil likes to exaggerate things for us, but when you begin to see in God’s light, it’s really not so bad. All that matters at the end of the day is pleasing God aka fulfilling purpose. There’s no point if I’m Married and I ended up not fulfilling purpose.
SFF Question: What can a single do to become SFF?
Itunu: There are so many things to do. I remember one reason why I used to be so frustrated back then was because I was still focusing on myself. I didn’t even know what walking in Love meant. I’d feed on different things from the world that shaped my understanding of Love and gave me a false understanding of me being incomplete. In-completion is when you end up with everything else and still lack the one most important thing.
Spend time with God, choose to seek Him out. He has promised you’ll find and He doesn’t lie. Serve others in love. For example, I write every week on the blog to express Jesus. It’s not the most convenient thing for me at the moment but I do it because of my passion for Jesus and His truth to be out there. I do it because that’s my own way of pleasing Him and walking in Love. You can find out how God wants you to fulfil purpose too. Don’t despise little beginnings. Don’t think something is too little to begin with. Be diligent in wherever you are at the moment and keep seeking God. Everything will just come into place. I am a testimony of this truth. I remember when I started writing on my blog. I didn’t know God was going to use it to bring Him glory because I had other plans. Besides I had maybe two or three followers and used to even beg people to read my white stories back then. lol. But I kept on at it and that was the time I was trying to make sense of God and life. It was in my search I wrote “Dear Diary” and that was when the mails started coming in of people battling addictions, people in unhealthy relationships and people wanting to know God.
God had begun to work on me and it was reflecting on the blog. There’s no way you’ll encounter God and put him inside a box. He will explode and consume you. Haha. It feels like that on some days. Imagine if I’d decided to just push the writing aside.
So, if there’s any strong desire in your heart that you feel it’s God since it won’t leave you, talk to Him about it, start with something and if He’s behind it, He will never let his work die, no matter how much the devil wants to push you down. That’s how you can stay single and be fruitful and fulfilled.
SFF Question: How can one differentiate between the desire and the desperation to be married?
Itunu: The desire to be married is something beautiful. We are not robots neither can we pretend that a call to celibacy is one of those things you’ll jump at when it hits you. Lol. But because it’s a desire, it should be placed at the feet of Jesus and not held on to. When we get to heaven, the husband will turn to brother so it’s really not a big deal the way people carry the thing, remember that there’s no marriage in heaven.
Desperation on the other hand is desire turned wild. It’s when we hold on to it till it becomes like an idol. We dream it, we eat it and think it, it even occupies our mind above God and so when anyone comes, we have a mental picture in our head and can easily fall prey. A desperate person will do anything to get married, even if it’s not Gods will. Someone who has placed her desires at Gods feet will simply wish to honour God in whatever choices He makes for her.
SFF Question: What are the challenges you have faced on the journey to be SFF?
Itunu: I remember there was a time some of my friends actually felt I was joking or didn’t just want to reveal anything. At one point, I was beginning to wonder that perhaps I need prayers for marital breakthrough before God made me realise He’s with me. At a point I was even wondering maybe because I look smallish for my age and so this might have restricted some suitors. Someone also mentioned that perhaps I was too picky because I was comfortable… enjoying my single life too much. Oh well, that’s what happens when you waltz with God.
It was a struggle but thank God for breakthrough into understanding whom God is and His goodness. Those are the ones I can remember for now. I choose not to retain somethings in my head these days.
SFF Question: Advice to anyone who think it is impossible to be SFF?
Itunu: Sweetheart, don’t worry, I know how you feel. Heck if anyone had asked me 10 years ago what age I would like to get married, I would have said between 23-25 years. But here I am drawing close to 30 and it’s not so bad. It’s possible to be single, fruitful and satisfied. There’s nothing wrong with you. People are different and you can’t compare yourself to someone else. You need to be comfortable with spending time with yourself alone. Travel, spend time with God, create a bucket list and all Sorts. Go on exciting adventures. Make friends. Don’t be scared of being lonely and run into marriage.
You think it’s lonely now, try getting married to the wrong guy and you’ll wish you waited. I’ve seen with my eyes what settling for less than God’s will brings to people. We aren’t talking about 2-5 years’ time. We are looking at forever till Jesus comes. So my dear, just seek God and you’ll realise there’s just so much more than love and marriage. It’s not an achievement, it’s just one chapter of your life you’ll be choosing to spend with someone else. At least get that chapter right.
Marriage is not your life. Jesus is.
SFF Bonus Question: What part of your lifestyle do you think will likely change after marriage?
Itunu: Uh, I might learn to be more submissive because I like having my own way sometimes. I might also have to learn to pick my battles wisely. I also love having me-times a lot but with a man in the picture, I’ll have to be more responsible. I guess God has been teaching me through the blog already sooo…
I have a feeling there’ll be more but these three will do for now.
Whoops! This is really enlightening! Thank you soooo much Glow for taking out time to answer these #SFF FAQs. One outstanding lesson I learnt form this is: Purpose is pleasing God. Vision is seeing how you can please Him. And that comes while you chase God.
Have never seen it in this light before. God bless you much for me hun 😘😘😘
Your turn sweeties, what lessons did you pick from Itunu’s interview? Please share in the comment box let’s learn together.
Next Star Guest on the #SFF Series is Joshua Alade of NextGen Africa Initiative. Please keep a date with us next Thursday.
… Still wondering what the #SFF Series is about? We got your back and explained it all HERE.
Special thanks and love to Dan-Jumbi Endurance for gifting the series with this gorgeous design and one more to be seen in next week’s episode. God bless you special dear😘
Special thanks too to my darling Bolaji for doing the connect, I love you tey girl😘❤❤❤❤❤
Special thanks to you too for reading to the end❤❤❤❤❤