Managing Relationships: Are You A Blessing Or A Burden?


“A friend in need is a friend indeed” – Anonymous

The above quote is one of the most popular quotes on friendship.

We’re quick to use it when we need help. And we quickly support it with “What are friends for if not to inconvenience each other?”

Quick question to ask yourself anytime you’re tempted to use those quotes:

  1. How many friends have I joyfully and not grudgingly inconvenienced myself for?
  2. Am I a friend indeed?

Like when we discussed “Do not Forget!” in the last Managing Relationship series, it is easier to remember the good we’ve done for others than to remember the good they’ve done for us. It is also easier to go through our friend’s list and spot out friends who have been more of burdens than blessings, than to do the opposite. So for today’s e-Boost, I’ll like us to take the spotlight off our friends and focus it on ourselves. Managing Relationships – Am I a burden or a blessing?

Recently, I was reflecting on my friend’s list and couldn’t help but thank God for the quality of friends He has blessed me with. There’s almost nothing I need that I can’t find a friend who can help me with it or give me some sound advice. In retrospect, I asked myself if these friends can say the same of me. Have I been a blessing to them or a burden aka parasite? #foodforthought #Whatcanmyfriendssayaboutme.

Disloyal friends

There are different types/classes of friends, which is why it is critical to Define Every Relationship. There are true friends who got your back any time any day. And there are frenemies who desire your downfall but camouflage as friends. There are conditional friends who hang around only based on what they can get from you (They only call/text/chat aka contact you when they have need of you or want to borrow something – money or otherwise). Some others are plain fair weather friends – they’re friendly only when things are good with you but once the tides turn, they disappear and resurface when things are rosy again. There are the environmental and so many other classes/types of friends you can think of…

Just before you nod and tick or classify your friends into any of the listed classes, first pause and ask yourself “where do I fall in?”

If you were your friend, parent, boss, child, neighbour, colleague, sibling, uncle, cousin or spouse where would you classify you as?

The golden rule says do to others as you would like them to do to you (Mathew 7:12). Nobody wants to be in a parasitic relationship where they give and give and get nothing in return.

Like I often say, friends should not be chosen lightly ‘cause they have the power to make or mar you. Choose your friends prayerfully and carefully. Choose friends that are irons you can sharpen and be sharpened by, in return. It is everyone’s desire, to be in a symbiotic relationship where their goodness is reciprocated. But just before you demand such, examine and sincerely ask yourself:

  • What kind of friend am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of employer/employee am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of parent/child am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of neighbor/colleague am – I A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of clergy/member am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of sibling/cousin am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of uncle/aunty/niece/nephew/cousin am I – A burden or a blessing?
  • What kind of host/guest am I – A burden or a blessing?


The list is endless really, feel free to fill it up.

I know some people haven’t been ‘lucky’ with friends but sweetie, please don’t relent from being a blessing to others. There is an ever faithful friend who NEVER fails. He is not just a Blessing, He is also a burden bearer. Connect with Him today if you haven’t done so yet and he will help you choose the best of friends. He will also help you know when to let go of some and when to fight for a relationship worth keeping, irrespective of how you may feel or not feel.

Truth is, not all relationships lasts forever – different friends are for different times and seasons. Remember, the focus shouldn’t be on what we can gain from any friendship/relationship, rather, it should be on how much better a life can be just by interacting with us. The Faithful friend is ever watching and He will reward everyone accordingly.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7 (NIV)

No matter your bad experience(s), strive to be the blessing you want to see in your friends. May God help us to be blessings and not a burdens to the different persons He brings our way, for different purposes at any/every point in time.

Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts in the comment box.

PS: You can catch up on some other topic in the Managing Relationships series HERE.

Much love


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4 Replies to “Managing Relationships: Are You A Blessing Or A Burden?”

  1. Are my a blessing or a burden to my friend…Chi,your topic question here, is of great self reflections /assesments…

    There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, according to the scripture, but I also realise there are not many of them; if you are blessed to have just one of such in a life time, thank God.

    The above statement is an indictment against many of us,meaning that not many of us are the kind of friend we like to have,or see in others, but we can try to become one;it also means not everyone is worth being your friend .

    When you look at ourselves,you will find that what you expects from others,as a friend, you and I have often not been giving it.It therefore means that we have to lower our expections sometimes.

    I only have one person I considers as a friend in that category for now .I do the best I can without feeling overburdened and he understands that,as every relatioships has an implied or expressed purpose.

    A friend that is not under fair wheather friends category ,are usually comlementary and very supportive rather than necessariy being a burden,but may need help may be someone you will have to support for a season in a particular deserving way and who ends up just thanking you for it only , while you in turn recieves such sense of fullfilment for help someone in need ; on the hand he or she may support you in another way entirely diferent from yours – you may call it mutual friendship, but one day one of you may have a need to make sacrifice(unsual)for the other, that is where the test of close friendship begins.

    Have I felt overburdened before while helping a friend? Yes, but I have also recieved help from a different person ;but how will I know what constitutes being overburdened for him while he was helping me.That is not simple – his values,depth of measurement or lolerance compared with mine, will certainly not be the same ; but one thing is certain : for everyone you considers a real friend,you will have certain level of expectation from them -usually above average; thus for you to be fair,you must also be prepared to give such level of expectation, otherwise we will have no right to expect it from them,and hat is the main reason everyone cannot be our friend.

    However, Christ lowered the standard by directing us to owe no man nothing,except to love them (Rm. 12:8)How you love them, is entirely another topic….

    Thanks for the self assessment and engaging subject.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this wonderful post.

    “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly…” Prov 18:24 KJV

    Most often, we attract who we are and not necessarily who we want. So, the best way to get who we want as friends is to be who we want. Like attracts like.

    Once again, thanks for the insightful post! God Bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

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