“A friend in need is a friend indeed” – Anonymous
The above quote is one of the most popular quotes on friendship.
We’re quick to use it when we need help. And we quickly support it with “What are friends for if not to inconvenience each other?”
Quick question to ask yourself anytime you’re tempted to use those quotes:
- How many friends have I joyfully and not grudgingly inconvenienced myself for?
- Am I a friend indeed?
Like when we discussed “Do not Forget!” in the last Managing Relationship series, it is easier to remember the good we’ve done for others than to remember the good they’ve done for us. It is also easier to go through our friend’s list and spot out friends who have been more of burdens than blessings, than to do the opposite. So for today’s e-Boost, I’ll like us to take the spotlight off our friends and focus it on ourselves. Managing Relationships – Am I a burden or a blessing?
Recently, I was reflecting on my friend’s list and couldn’t help but thank God for the quality of friends He has blessed me with. There’s almost nothing I need that I can’t find a friend who can help me with it or give me some sound advice. In retrospect, I asked myself if these friends can say the same of me. Have I been a blessing to them or a burden aka parasite? #foodforthought #Whatcanmyfriendssayaboutme.
There are different types/classes of friends, which is why it is critical to Define Every Relationship. There are true friends who got your back any time any day. And there are frenemies who desire your downfall but camouflage as friends. There are conditional friends who hang around only based on what they can get from you (They only call/text/chat aka contact you when they have need of you or want to borrow something – money or otherwise). Some others are plain fair weather friends – they’re friendly only when things are good with you but once the tides turn, they disappear and resurface when things are rosy again. There are the environmental and so many other classes/types of friends you can think of…
Just before you nod and tick or classify your friends into any of the listed classes, first pause and ask yourself “where do I fall in?”
If you were your friend, parent, boss, child, neighbour, colleague, sibling, uncle, cousin or spouse where would you classify you as?
The golden rule says do to others as you would like them to do to you (Mathew 7:12). Nobody wants to be in a parasitic relationship where they give and give and get nothing in return.
Like I often say, friends should not be chosen lightly ‘cause they have the power to make or mar you. Choose your friends prayerfully and carefully. Choose friends that are irons you can sharpen and be sharpened by, in return. It is everyone’s desire, to be in a symbiotic relationship where their goodness is reciprocated. But just before you demand such, examine and sincerely ask yourself:
- What kind of friend am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of employer/employee am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of parent/child am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of neighbor/colleague am – I A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of clergy/member am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of sibling/cousin am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of uncle/aunty/niece/nephew/cousin am I – A burden or a blessing?
- What kind of host/guest am I – A burden or a blessing?
The list is endless really, feel free to fill it up.
I know some people haven’t been ‘lucky’ with friends but sweetie, please don’t relent from being a blessing to others. There is an ever faithful friend who NEVER fails. He is not just a Blessing, He is also a burden bearer. Connect with Him today if you haven’t done so yet and he will help you choose the best of friends. He will also help you know when to let go of some and when to fight for a relationship worth keeping, irrespective of how you may feel or not feel.
Truth is, not all relationships lasts forever – different friends are for different times and seasons. Remember, the focus shouldn’t be on what we can gain from any friendship/relationship, rather, it should be on how much better a life can be just by interacting with us. The Faithful friend is ever watching and He will reward everyone accordingly.
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7 (NIV)
No matter your bad experience(s), strive to be the blessing you want to see in your friends. May God help us to be blessings and not a burdens to the different persons He brings our way, for different purposes at any/every point in time.
Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts in the comment box.
PS: You can catch up on some other topic in the Managing Relationships series HERE.
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