Define Your Association

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The word ‘friend’ is one of the most loosely used words in the universe. Most times, people use it out of courtesy not to offend the addressee.  Although there are several dictionary definitions for the word, the definition of interest here is Friend:

  • A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations;
  • A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection.

In church yesterday, my pastor teaching on the topic ‘In This Season’ listed ‘Define Your Association’ as one of the keys to not miss out on your season and that point struck home. If you’ve been following my posts on any media, you will observe that friendship, companionship, association, network and relationship are things I don’t take lightly. Friendship is a subject my God does not take lightly either. Proverbs 18:24 compares the bond of friendship to that of a brother and had this to say. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”(NIV)

A friend is someone you should consciously choose because your choice of friends can make or mar you. A popular adage says, “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.” Friends are bonded by similar interests and belief and just before you argue that you are different from your friends, read 1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”(NIV). The bible makes it clear that we can’t possibly live better than the friends or company we keep. And Proverbs 27:17 throws some light on what friends do for each other – “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (NIV). Friends encourage and help each other to grow in whatever it is they know how to do – good or bad. Friends have and protect each other’s back. Great Friendships don’t just happen either; they are cultivated, developed and maintained. (That’s a topic for another day though) And to have good friends, you have to be one first.

There are levels|stages of friendship; you have mere acquaintances, close acquaintances, office colleagues, close friends, best friends, etc. Defining our associations means defining our friendships. And to define means to state or describe exactly the nature, scope, or meaning of; to give the meaning of, state precisely, spell out, put into words, express in word, mark out the boundary or limits of.

A lot of people are in some sort of trouble today simply because of people they referred to as friend without really knowing them. Some people just meet someone briefly, chat, laugh and probably have some drinks together and next thing they are referring to the acquaintance as a friend!?! If you ask them basic questions about the person they just referred to as friend, they may not be able to answer because they do not know the individual(s) well enough.

If people knew the impact of the word friend or associate, they would be more careful and use the word less loosely. There is a term known as guilty by association. Guilt by association means that you personally didn’t really do something wrong but that people who you are associated with did. You are judged by the company you keep, so you can be viewed as guilty because of your association with wrongdoers (Source: yourdictionary.com). Any situation in which the perception of a person or idea is colored by the company (s)he keeps or by the source of the idea is an example of guilt by association.

You can not live out excellence if you have poor choice of friends. So think and reflect well before you choose someone as friend; think and reflect well before you tag someone or a group of people your friends; define all your associations!.

PS:

  1. Today’s post is specially dedicated to my friends, the TWTW ladies (The Women @ The Well), especially Frances Okoro, IfyHalim, AmakaMedia, Ruthie, Adanna, Anita, Tope. You ladies are amazing and I’m so happy and blessed to have you in my life. My spiritual life has grown tremendously just by my association with you.
  2. Sorry today’s e-Boost is coming in the evening instead of morning; I’m doing a lil experiment with posting time. I got more responsibility in the office and I’m trying to strike a balance so as not to overlook any aspect of my responsibility. Please lemme know in the comment box which posting time you prefer – morning, noon or evening.

Thank you all for reading today’s post. I’m happy and encouraged each time you grace my writing by reading and go a step further to comment.

God bless y’all for me.

Have a Fulfilled rest of week.

ChinyereDistinguished

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11 Replies to “Define Your Association”

  1. Wonderful piece. keep it up. l am encouraged and provoked to sieve my friends and pick only those who are a plus to my life and not a minus. Thanks for finding time to put up this.

    Like

    1. Thank you Leonard. Please continue sieving the people you have as friends, the choice of friends is something we should not take lightly. Even our Lord Jesus while on earth was very careful with the people He called friends.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting. God bless you

      Like

  2. “….think and reflect well before you tag someone or group of people as your friends,define your friendship”….

    Great piece that was and it a life safer….and the above thought I extracted from speaks volume it can save us from lot of unnecessary troubles that may come from associating with a wrong person in the guise of friendship…

    Friendship indeed is often a misunderstood subject as you aptly asserted and as a result we often use the term loosely;Jesus has taken His disciples round for a while in order to process so that they can understand His values and imbibes what friendship is; and He began to define who a friend is to them,describing it as one who laid down his life for another ( Jn.15:11-17) ; to put it mildly one who loves and protects the interest of another in the light of God’s words or commandment…especially in their vulnerable moment – my emphasis

    Different kinds of people come into our lives – some come to stay temporary,while some come to stay permanently – covenant relationship, eg marriage / partnership ; some are connectors,some are destiny facilitators or hand lifters,some came to expose us to ourselves and make us learn and acquire the needed character trait we did not have.

    When God called us with specific assignments,it might be alone,but He will eventually surround us with helpers;acquaintance is usually the entry point, then it develop to qualify itself.It is often a prayer points that God should keep the evil ones away from us who masquerades as friends and also connect us to the right friends indeed.

    The watchword to follow is what was recommended by God’s word which you have emphasized in the scriptures you used, as prosperity is not really the true test of friendship,but adversity is….

    Much thanks and keep flying Chi…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “….think and reflect well before you tag someone or group of people as your friends,define your friendship”….

    Great piece and a life saver that was … the above thought I extracted from your post speaks volume,it can truly save one from myriad of unnecessary troubles that may come from associating with a wrong person in the guise of friendship…

    Friendship indeed is often a misunderstood subject as you aptly asserted , as a result,we often use the term loosely;Jesus had to take His disciples round for a while in order to have them go through process and understand His values and imbibes what friendship is all about.

    And Jesus began to define who a friend is to them,describing it as one who laid down his life for another ( Jn . 15:11-17) ; to put it mildly, one who loves and protects the interest of another in the light of God’s words and commandment…especially in their vulnerable moments and serves as encouragement – my emphasis .

    Different kinds of people come into our lives – some come to stay temporary,while others come to stay permanently – covenant relationship, eg marriage / partnership ; some are connectors,some are destiny facilitators or hand lifters,some came to expose us to ourselves and make us learn and acquire the character trait that we did not have before but are in need of .

    When God called us with specific assignments,it might be alone,but He eventually surrounds us with helpers;acquaintance is usually the entry point, then it develop to qualify itself .It is often a prayer points that God should keep the evil ones away from us who masquerades as friends and also connect us to the right one (s) who are friends indeed .

    The watchword to follow is what was recommended by God’s word, and you have emphasized same in the scriptures used in the post; prosperity,they say is not really the true test of friendship,but adversity is….

    Much thanks and keep flying Chi…

    Liked by 1 person

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